Marilyne

hum…hard to say…it depends of the kind of activities you refer to. If it’s sport activities, than yes is must be related to you weight, but if it is some sort of simple activities that ” don’t fit you” like “this game is not me”, then maybe what other people have said to you or even yourself have been putting limits or restrictions to your everyday choices and actions.

Prad Robert

hi’ , I was speaking about that with my sister , I don’t speak with many people , I mean speak about deep and inner things ’cause I believe I’m not interesting , when I speak with somebody I’m always aking “are you boring ? ” .

and we said that a simple sentence from your parents can have very important consequences. But if you want to grow up , you have to discover and then deny or reflect this sentences . I didn’t say It’s easy , you know It’s like to break a leg , It’s a piece of you but the “you” of your parents , you have to build your “you” even if It’s inevitably denying a piece you what’s painful ..

Frida

It’s easy to fall into your parents footsteps while growing up and when you actually do it’s hard to decide whether or not that’s what you really want or if you’re doing it to please others.

Growing up, did you not do sports or what?

Ilana

Tabby, I really empathize with you on this. My mom would say things to me and my siblings like, “I’m so bad at math, we’re just not math people.” So much so that I really believed it and it affected my performance, pretty much a self fulfilling prophecy. Once I got to high school and realized I liked math and gave it a better shot, I said “hey maybe I’m not so terrible at this after all.” Now I’m studying in engineering school.
A parent can sometimes be negative, even if they are well-meaning, preventing you from seeing that you are in fact capable of taking the leap. I have learned over the years from my own experiences that it is incredibly important to stay positive in spite of your upbringing.

I can see how this connects to the weight. Your mother branded you as “book smart”, convincing you that you could not be otherwise– to the point of almost incapacitating you. Maybe in the same way, you were convinced your weight was who you are and that it was impossible to go beyond it. Now you are going against the current. With much success!

Emma

Tabby,
I do think that when we’re kids we tend to be very susceptible to what people say, words can have a powerful and sometimes corroding effect on us. Although in this case I think your mom was trying to boost your self esteem about your talents, especially your intelligence, i.e. some people are this way and some people are that way etc. Personally, I believe people can change their perceived destiny. I mean, I think anyone can be what they want to be (within reason of course). I mean we can’t all be Olympic medalists, but we can change our lifestyles or our interests, depending on which aspect of our lives is lacking at the time. Well done to you though, this seems like an intense physical AND mental journey you’re on! x

Ashley

I guess that would relate to your weight in a way as your book smart affected the physical activity by not participating. I understand all because I was book smart as well, and I thought that if someone knew about it then it would change everything I was going for. I started doing more physical things like playing football after school. (and by the way girls can play football ha ha!! lol) I joined the Theater department just so people wouldn’t think I was nerd for being like book smart because I am, big time.

Binks

WOAH!

HA! We have something in common. My mom always tells me I’m “book smart” too, but she usually accompanies it by telling me I have no “Street smarts” like she has. She often tells me that without any ’street smarts’ you can’t survive in this world. Sometimes I agree, sometimes I don’t. I think you should have a balance, which is what I’m trying to do (keyword “trying” there ) but it’s proven to be a bit hard, especially since my mom says you’re born with it, that you can’t learn it…which may be true…but I am getting a bit better at it I think…or not…since we still argue a lot >_>

I’m not sure how it has to do with your weight loss journey, specifically, it may be she deterred you from sports (if that’s what you mean by activities) to focus more on school, or maybe by her telling you that it made you lose confidence in yourself? I know my mom telling me things like that certainly doesn’t boost my confidence, in fact, I think it just makes me mad and more determined to prove her wrong. It does have a place in your overall journey though, since it’s helped shaped your life and where you are now.

skahahoo

I agree that parents mean well, but man…the things they say have such a powerful effect on kids! I tutor a lot of high school students, and it’s amazing how so many of them approach certain subjects with such lack of confidence and motivation because they’re convinced that they’re simply not good at math or science, etc. And it’s not true! In my experience, most of the time, it’s just that they haven’t been taught in a way that makes sense to them. You have to really listen to them and tune in to how they learn and encourage them. And once they get it…it’s amazing! They actually smile and want to do more because they want to challenge themselves. I love it when that happens.

So right…weight loss…the only thing I can think of is that “book smarts” generally don’t go hand in hand with physical activity. So I guess if you identified yourself as book smart, you wanted to strengthen that side of you, and other aspects of life wound up not getting as much attention. I’m not sure what not having “street smarts” has to do with anything. Physically fit people get duped all the time, no? lol. What do I know.