News Day Tuesday: Mukhtar gets married
Mukhtar Mai (center), along with 5,000 women, protested in Pakistan for equal rights on International Women’s Day in 2006.
Now this is a very interesting story that I’d like to get your input on.
Mukhtar Mai (also known as Mukhtaran Bibi) has garnered international acclaim for trying to improve the status of women in her country (Pakistan) and all over the world. She is truly extraordinary because she stood up for herself despite the overwhelming obstacles stacked against her.
What is her story? In 2002, her brother (who was only 12 at the time) was accused of adultery (there are reports that these accusations were bogus and only made to cover up some wrongdoing on the part of the accusers). As punishment, 4 men gang-raped Mukhtar, even though it was her brother who was accused of the crime. It is alleged that the village council ordered this punishment.
What happened to Mukhtar should give you an idea of how women are treated where she lives. On top of that, it is taboo in her culture for victims to publicize rape because to do so brings shame upon their families and damages their marriage prospects. And on top of THAT, Mukhtar could not read or write at the time. So, for this lone, illiterate woman to stand up and fight to have her attackers brought to justice is nothing short of incredible.
Six men were convicted, but their case is pending a retrial.
Mukhtar has written a best-selling autobiography and, using the money she received from the lawsuit, opened a school and women’s crisis centers in Pakistan.
It is agreed that Mukhtar is an amazing woman, yes?
So here is the interesting news story. She recently married a policeman named Nasir Abbas. She first met Nasir when he was assigned to protect her when she brought charges against her attackers. Here’s the catch: Nasir already has a wife (men are allowed up to 4 wives where they live). Which is why Mukhtar initially rejected his marriage proposal – because she didn’t want to ruin the life of his first wife.
But then Nasir responded by threatening to divorce his wife (which would have brought shame upon his wife and her family). He also tried to kill himself. To complicate things even further, Mukhtar’s sisters are married into Nasir’s first wife’s family, and they were threatened with divorce too if Nasir divorced his first wife.
Oy.
So, Nasir’s first wife and his two sisters begged her to marry him. And she did.
These are her statements:
…I married him on humanitarian grounds. I didn’t want three families breaking up because of me.
When you get married, you have to have faith in your partner and his family. I will try to cooperate with them.
…these things – relationships – are in the hands of Allah. I said if I got a good man I would get married….Now, as I thought fit, and with the agreement of my parents and other people, I’ve got married.
The article.
So what do you think about Mukhtar’s marriage GBD? She gave her reasons. What do you think of them? If you were in her situation, would you have done the same?
P.S. – There is some funny business going with the retrial. Mukhtar’s work is an embarrassment to many people in power, particularly political officials, who would rather that all of the public attention surrounding her would disappear. You can read about it here. You can also contact the following power players in Pakistan’s government to insist that an independent judiciary be maintained in the face of any political pressure it may encounter.
His Excellency, Mr. Asif Ali Zardari
President of Pakistan
Email: ppp@comsats.net.pk
Mr. Rehman Malik
Advisor / Minister for Interior
Email: ministry.interior@gmail.com
Mr. Salman Tasseer
Governor of Punjab
Email: governor.sectt@punjab.gov.pk
Christina
March 24, 2009This is a terribly sad and complicated story. In terms of the gang rape: as unjust and horrible as that is, many countries in that region allow such treatment to occur especially to women. I personally don’t think anyone in any country should be punished or held responsible for anything he/she didn’t do. And the way that Mukhtar was treated is disgusting and unforgivable on many levels.
As for her marriage: while the idea of polygamy is unconscionable to us, because of our culture and ideals, it is legal in some countries. I don’t think it’s fair to say that Mukhtar is a hypocrite or going against her former actions. I think that she was the bigger person for agreeing to the marriage for the sake of everyone else involved. She even risked that initially when she said first no. And it isn’t as unfair as let’s say arranged marriages, because at the very least Mukhtar knew the man. She was assigned to protect and help her during the rape ordeal. Not that I’m condoning his actions, because this is about Mukhtar. So basically I guess I would have to say that given what she was presented with, I think she did the best she could.