by Kailin Gow

Because I’m a woman and a mom to a 3 year-old little girl name London, I’m constantly thinking of what it means to be female and to raise a girl in today’s world.

It’s amazing what a difference there is between girls and boys even at this age.  London is very polite…she says her “please” and “thank you’s” very easily.  Not that this is a female thing, but I notice boys are more reluctant.  When London plays with other children, she doesn’t fling her arms and stomp through the playground like her boy classmates.  Not that she’s a girly girl, but she’s just more refined when she plays ball or rides her tricycle around the block.  She shares her toys, and always asks when a fellow friend falls down, “Are you OK?”  Back when she was only one and attended a class for Tots with other kids, when one child started crying, all the girls would go and hug the crying child.  Is feeling empathy for others naturally a female thing?  Of course, there are some polite and very considerate boys, too, but in general, boys are known or taught, in our society, to “just be boys.”  What does it mean to “just be a girl,” I wonder?

One day, London was playing with a dice at home when she looked down and said softly, “London is shy.”  This was obviously something she has heard someone described her recently.  Of all the positive things she’s heard about herself, being “shy”, was the one she remembers the most.  And it was not very accurate.  Her teachers tell me London is so outgoing that she greets and hugs everyone at school. She will engage everyone in her play, and she has no problems adjusting to new schools.  But once in a while, she gets quiet and introspective.  At age 3, she has become more aware of strangers and who to trust.  At age 3, she is already reading first-grade level books and knows about each planet in the Solar System.  She’s been tested as “gifted” so she has a hard time relating to her peers.  Most times, she’d rather read books, act out scenes from television, and practice karate than color pictures in the coloring book.  So, I told her gently, that some people may think she’s “shy” because she’s quiet.  I told her I didn’t think she was “shy” but that she’s “cautious” of new people.  But once she gets to know them, she opens up.

I also told her that being “shy” is not a bad thing, either, if she is.  There are many amazing people in our world who were labeled “shy” – Albert Einstein, Bill Gates, and Nicole Kidman, for instance.

So this summer, no matter what labels you think you are, learn to love and accept who you are.  Whether you are labeled “too skinny,” “fat”, “shy”, “short”, “pretty”, “smart”, etc.,  you will find that embracing who you are as a whole person, rather than what your label says of you, will help you bring about the best in you regardless of the label.

Whether you’re 3, 13, 17, 30, or 60, here are some ways to discover or rediscover who you are and to embrace who you are.  Because knowing who you are not only helps develop your self-esteem, it helps you overcome obstacles, choose what’s best for you, and helps you follow who you are throughout life.

1)    Know where you come from – be proud of your heritage.

2)    Know that no matter what you look like, no matter your age, what are your experiences in life to this point, you are a resourceful smart person.  You come into this world equipped with a brain, a mouth, eyes, ears, nose, and body.

3)    Know to accept what about you that can’t be changed (embrace it – it’s what makes you unique and special), and work towards positively changing what you can change to make you happier.

4)    Know that you, although you may need the help of others at times, have the power and control to help you get what you need.

5)    Know that you have a gift that is yours to help the world – your hands can help build orphanages, your mind can help solve problems, your mouth can help you sing…

These are a few things I’ll be sharing with London soon.  If you have any more to add, please do!  I’d like to hear from you to find out what you accept and embrace about yourself, and how it’s made you who you are today.  By doing so, you’ll be helping other girls learn to accept and love who they are, too!

About Kailin

Kailin Gow is a writer, publisher, producer, actor, and marketer. Her fictional book series for teen girls, The Global Girls of America, will be available this summer 2009. Her book, The Gifted Girls: Activities Guide For 365 Days of the Year has helped girls age 7 and up develop Self-esteem and Confidence. Her publishing and production company, Sparklesoup LLC, is currently developing 3 features and a short film.