by Tammy

This week, I want to talk about a topic that’s a bit more serious than the ones I normally touch upon and that’s the serious phenomenon that affects countless teens. It’s called “self injury” and a reportedly two million people engage in this type of addictive behavior, a majority are predominately female teenagers and young adults.  The actions that fall under that category of self injury are cutting, scratching, burning, picking, hitting biting, carving and more.

If you or someone you know do this to yourselves and need help, the first thing I would say is PLEASE do not label yourself (or your friend) as crazy. It IS a scary thing, can be very dangerous and should be taken seriously but it does not mean that you are crazy. Be open minded and kind to yourself or your friend and read the rest of this article to have access information that can equip you with proactive steps that you can take NOW.

To help me with this article, I consulted a knowledgeable friend, Christine Thomas M.A., MFT Intern, who’s getting her license in marriage and family therapy and specializes in working with teens who cut themselves. Christine says that teens resort to this behavior because they’re angry or depressed (anger turned inward) and don’t know how to deal with the emotions they’re feeling so in order to release the stress they feel (which is built up by the energy of emotions becoming too high), they cut themselves or inflict another self injury in order to calm down.
Girls in particular tend to “act in” and take out their negative feelings on themselves. Cutting is really about not being able to express feelings. They keep in their feelings to a level where they feel they might explode and cut in an attempt to bleed them out. When a person cuts themselves or hurts themselves, the body releases endorphins which make the person not feel pain- this is a lot like taking a drug. And like any drug, it can become addictive. So it becomes a pain management tool. Unfortunately it is it is not very healthy and can become increasingly dangerous over time. Christine says that body has a wisdom that is sometimes not listened to- especially in this society, but if we become more attuned to it and try hard to express the feelings and movements that it wants us to, then we are more likely to feel better.
Ultimately, I believe that the intense feeling of loneliness also plays a huge role in this phenomenon. We feel separated from everyone else and retreat into our heads in order to deal with and make sense of the stress inflicted from the suffering caused by normal life situations. We yearn to feel connected to anything.
The way to feel connection…the true connection that you really crave is to first connect your mind to your body. Feel it. The first step to becoming clear on what your feelings are (in order to express them healthily) is to become AWARE of your body and what it’s telling you.  The ironic thing is that I really believe that cutters literally cut their bodies in order to “feel” their bodies since they’re so disconnected from their feelings and feelings are felt in the body.  I’m reminded of the movie Crash when Don Cheadle’s character gets into a car accident on the freeway and then says, “I think we miss that sense of touch so much, we crash into each other just to feel something”. That metaphor holds true for me when I think of the phenomenon of cutting.  You don’t need to harm your body (with alcohol, self-injury, eating disorders) in order to feel it. The beauty is that we are born into this world with beautiful bodies that are like the cars and our minds are the driver.  If the driver locks herself up in the car but never goes anywhere, that’s a pretty lonely existence. To go somewhere, you have to drive your car and take care of it!

Listen to your car! Ask yourself:
What is my body saying to me?
What does my body think I should do in this situation?
What does my body need to express?
How can I calm it down?
How is the relationship between my mind and body? Am I listening to both?
Yogic deep breathing is just one great tool in that it helps you pay attention to your body and also acts as a bridge between the body and the mind.

Deep yogic breathing balances the pituitary gland (master gland which secretes endorphins) and helps alleviate stress. It also helps to release the endorphins into the body and give you an automatic high. Another important feature that deep breathing offers is the trigger that it evokes in the parasympathetic nervous system bringing about the relaxation response. Recent neuro psychological studies have shown how yogic breathing is likely to affect stress response system in individuals while calming the mind and body. Deep breathing also comforts and soothes symptoms of trauma.
So let’s begin. Sit in a comfortable position. Place the tongue on the roof of the mouth and inhale as slowly as possible, allowing only a thin stream of air to flow.  When you can’t inhale any more air, begin to exhale at the same slow, steady pace.  Inhale and exhale just through the nose. Fill the lower portion of the lungs first, allowing the abdomen to expand then the middle (expanding the diaphragm) and then the top (expanding the chest).  Try to slow your breathing so that you’re inhaling 5 seconds and then exhaling 5 seconds. This stimulates your pituitary gland which controls your intuition and calms you. If you can slow down to 7 ½ seconds per inhale and exhale then you’ll activate your Pineal gland and get instant cosmic high.
Remember, your body is your car and your mind is the driver!! Think of breathing as the gas pedal that connects the driver w/the car and makes the car run smoothly!! You always want to go at a moderate and even pace. Don’t rush!! Breathing is what takes you on your journey in life! So breathe well. Let go of the fears. Love is what waits for you at the end of every finish line.

*There are many online sites that help to raise awareness about self injury. One of them specifically recommended by Christine Thomas is www.myspace.com/selfharmawareness (created by a recovering cutter). Christine also recommends art therapy, yoga, visualization and exercise as healthy outlets to get your emotions out in a positive way. It is also important to choose an appropriate person to express yourself to.

xo

Tammy

About Tamara

Tamara Lelie knows that attaining peace begins with having a balanced foundation. Motivated by her mom’s terminal cancer diagnoses, in 2007, she created Time Out Retreat as a one stop source for supplying tools for self-care and balance in a camp like setting. 7 rotations were all led by experts in their fields and consisted of feng shui, yoga, meditation, guided imagery, fitness and more. Since then, the retreat has been an annual event attracting media attention. A teacher at heart, in 2009, she launched Time Out with Tamara to serve as a human toolkit for teaching balance and has clients ranging from celebrities and corporations to teens and housewives. Tamara Lelie is a certified yoga instructor (specializing in applying the ancient knowledge of the yogis to every day modern problems) and the U.S. Director of Marketing for a globally distributed French TV network. For more info on her services and products, click on www.timeoutretreat.com.