Kailin

Good topic because I have always been the person being gossiped about, and unfortunately it is from other women or girls who I thought were friends. It doesn’t take an ant’s brain to figure out when you’re the object of gossip. You don’t even have to be famous, be in the news, or have anything “worthy” of gossip to be gossiped about. Gossiping does stem from people’s need to feel better about themselves. Gossip has always exists since there were groups of people. You will find it everywhere, at work, at social circles, yes, even in this day and age – social websites.

It is like being fed to the lions at the Roman Coliseum – the pure evilness people seem to have to get the gratifaction of seeing another human being suffer. Gossip slowly eats away at people – it is a form of subvert bullying.

Because I’ve always been the one gossiped about, I know how hurtful it is so I don’t even try to engage in it. It takes more than 1 person to gossip, and more than 1 person to get it going.

Yes, you are a gossiper even by being a listener in a gossip session because you are giving an audience to it.

I totally relate to what you go through. Just because you’re in the public eye, people think it is alright to say means things about you without knowing you. Even if they do know you, gossiping behind someone’s back is cowardly and immature. If anyone have an issue with someone who they know, they should have a heart-to-heart talk with them to get each other’s point of view and to better understand each other.

K – you’ve hit a sore spot with this one for me because unfortunately this is one area I feel we women really have to work on as a society. Shows like Gossip Girls, and gossip columns are geared largely toward women because they are the main ones who relish in it. Why must women have such feelings of competitiveness and inadequacy that they resort to gossiping? If you or anyone feel you must gossip about someone, ask yourself why do you feel this way. If you are jealous that someone has a better relationship with their boyfriend/significant other than you have with yours, then ask yourself how you can make your relationship with your significant other better, etc.

Overall – take the focus off someone else, and concentrate on changing you.

And yes – even at GBD, gossip may exist.

Love and such,

KG

Kendra

Great topic K!.

I think we all gossip as a way to relate to one another. At least we think this is relating on the surface.

OMG did you see what that girls was wearing?”, “OMG I cant believe she is wearing that!”, “OMG we are like soooo BFF’s.”

Ladies we all do it, I know I am guilty, but in all honesty I think this is a false way to connect with one another…we think that sitting around haggling the girl that’s not there is creating an ever lasting bond with one another…but is it?

Every time we participate in gossip we change other peoples views of that person forever…that is a pretty powerful and destructive thing.

And guess what, if you and your new BFF are sitting around gossiping about said gal that is not present, what do you think they say when your not present?

I mean what does that say about us? That the only time we can relate to one another is when we are being mean? Why is that fun?

drovethroughghosts

This is a good topic Kristin. I’ve done my fair share of gossiping and I have been gossiped about. This year though, something changed. I started hanging out in one of my teacher’s classroom’s at lunch and all these girls would just sit around in there and gossip, even the teacher. It almost made me sick, then I started wondering if I’m any better. I’m not, but I want to be. This topic came at a good time. I think we all should take a break from gossip and see the world of good it can do for us. Nice post

Kathy

I normally don’t chime in so early on these types of posts, but I can’t sleep because the fireworks are so loud. lol.

I have a different view of gossip because I don’t necessarily think it’s negative. Your definition of gossip is what I would call slander. My definition of gossip is when you talk about people who aren’t there. A narrower definition would be talking about the private/personal matters of people who aren’t there. An even narrower definition would be talking about private/personal matters that you then morally judge. This kind of talk, even the most narrow definition, is not necessarily negative, and in fact can be positive. To me, gossip is a tool, and like most tools, can be used either constructively or destructively.

However, I acknowledge that I tend to view things in ways that are heavily influenced by my experience and education. In particular, from a sociological and evolutionary perspective, I think when gossip is used properly, it confers survival advantages and imposes a degree of social control by ferreting out what the norm group labels as “deviant” behavior. For example, if someone cheats on his/her partner, and word gets out…sure, you could argue that people spread the word because of salaciousness and self-righteousness. But you could also argue that people talk about that behavior for self-preservation and social control – spreading the word makes people more wary around reputed cheaters and also ostracizes them from the “in” group. Are there better ways to handle this than gossiping? Perhaps.

I gossip all the time – it has been an invaluable tool in helping me extract the most benefit from my education and work. “Who’s the best professor?” “What’s it like working for so-and-so?” Word gets around, and without gossip, I would’ve ended up stuck with professors and bosses who weren’t as good.

And there is positive gossip too – people talk about the achievements other people have made, how well they’re doing in life, the changes they’ve made to better themselves. Hearing about this type of news can help motivate people to make positive changes for themselves.

But I suppose all of this is besides the point because you are referring to a specific type of gossip – one that is destructive. Even here, I think there’s a difference between spreading lies specifically to elevate your status by hurting others, and spreading the truth in order to put people on alert and discourage deviant behavior. The reality is, I think, that most negative gossip is a mixture of both.

If you’re referring specifically to tabloid or “lunchtable” gossip…I don’t participate in that because I honestly don’t care. When people talk about who’s dating who, etc., I tend to zone out because 1) I often don’t know what they’re talking about, and 2) I don’t see how knowing that kind of information is going to improve my life in any way.

For anyone who’s interested, this article does an excellent job of summing up what evolutionary psychologists think about gossip: http://www.scientificamerican.com/article.cfm?id=the-science-of-gossip.

Marianne

I agree with Kathy when it comes to not seeing gossip as solely negative. and that’s as far as my brain is permitting me to go right now.

Kailin

@Kendra – I guess the lesson is be wary of who your so-called BFFs who love to gossip because they can be gossiping about you if they’re gossiping about someone else.

@Kathy – gossip that is positive (and I know what you mean by it being a form of communication) shouldn’t be known as gossip, but rather, conversation that is unsubstantiated. Who knows if the gossip you hear is true or it is just someone’s opinion. I state my opinion all the time, especially if someone asks for a recommendation. Is this class worth taking? Is this restaurant good? That *in my opinion* is not gossip, but a recommendation.

“Gossip” that is good should be renamed, “Singing Praises” or better yet, “Possip”. OK OK, I had to make a joke, but this is really a serious concern, especially among young girls. There was a recent case in the U.S. where a teenage girl was verbally harassed with malicious gossip to the point she committed suicide. I can’t recall everything right here because fireworks are flying by as I’m typing. But the harasser ended up standing trial.

The girl was already unstable, but you never know who is or isn’t at the time. Word out – be kind to everyone. And Happy 4th of July to our American GBDers.

Kailin

@Mari – so you’re possiping when you’re trying to get me to talk about Kathy for your Mursday article?

Kristin

So, is there a difference between saying shite about others who are not present b/c I feel a lack of… something, versus transferring honest information about a person’s skills and attributes with the intent to be kind and humane? My computer dictionary states that GOSSIP is: casual or unconstrained conversation or reports about other people, typically involving details that are not confirmed as being true. Anything I do not know is fact, that I wouldn’t say in front of the other person or I am saying about another person because I feel less… that is my idea of gossip. The transference of information is important. And if you call that gossip too, that is cool… And making distinctions is really valuable. It is about our own honesty I think.

woot!

genvixen79@yahoo.com

…great post kris. I think gossip has become part of our lives..its been a common disease of every individual as if their life would never be complete if they werent tried or indulge themselves with it. It will be beneficial if the gossip would be something that will encourage the person to lets say improve her way of living.But the fact is,when u say “Gossip” in my own opinion, 1.)it is telling something which is true & the gossiper have proofs that is so private part or info of one’s life that the person doest want the world to know about coz its really private ; 2.) it is telling something which is untrue & the gossiper doesnt have any even the tiniest proof about it..its just his own bare eyes polluting his mind concluding something does exist. I’ve experience already #2 sooo many times. I hate it hearing someone figuring me out as this different kind of a person as from what i figured out myself. I used to defend..i know myself better than them. I know my thoughts & the will of my heart than they are. One thing that our church instills to us members…” It doesnt matter if the whole world will hate u..as long as God loves u..believes u…God knows even the tiniest secrets of your heart”. So now everytime i encounter gossip like that..im jus laughing at it..it doesnt bother me that much anymore.

Nick

Hmm… Gossip. Would it be nice if people didn’t gossip, yes it would be tremendous. As you Kristin and others have now stated, I think almost everyone has been in those three positions (”victimizer” “oberserver of victimizers” and the “victim” of gossip).

Unfortunately, I think gossip stems from our own fears and often the reflection of our own personal insecurities. Often times I think we try to bring down others or talk about others to avoid our own flaws or try to mask them in front of those we believe to be our friends.

Another aspect to gossip that has made it so prevalent in our society, as mentioned in the blog and comments here, is the “entertainment” of it. It’s in the news, schools (you should hear some of what teachers say in the teacher’s lounges I was in during student teaching-yikes!), and just everywhere… Hell the dinner table is often gossip central… You get bored and look for conversation to avoid uncomfortable silences, etc.

Again, putting down others I ultimately believe comes from either the knowledge of our own faults, or the ignorance of our flaws that our minds register (if that made sense), which then results in that little monster we’ve all been guilty of letting out – GOSSIP!

Great post Kristin as I think this is a huge huge huge issue in society, and particularly in schools today!

I hope you ladies can get this trend of not gossiping and becoming more comfortable with who you all are as lovely people jump-started, and then hopefully it spreads to us guys as well… Keep up the hard work and great topics!

Signing off now at 5am – Yowzas…

Nick Aiello

kakang

Now and then, we get to used that word “gossip”.. No matter who we are as a person, someone will still ruin each individual because they can’t accept the fact that we achieved a big blessings in life.. Once I heard someone gossip about me, I comment softly and then I ignored it because those gossip are useless and waste of time, especially the false gossip..

P.S. -just ignore those false gossip and still keep moving to what you do daily.. But once the gossip become cruel, simply fight for what is true…
I’m glad your having this kind of blog..

achilles17

this is a great topic , bcs theirs a lot of people out their that live their life whit gossip. with out gossip some people wouldnt have a reason to live

Kailin

@genvixen79@yahoo.com – I love the way you handle gossip. Throughout life, you will encounter these things. I don’t know if gossip will ever go away in society as a whole. I’m sorry you and many others had to go through experiences like that. But you have a very positive approach to it –

In your own words – “It doesn’t matter if the whole world will hate u..as long as God loves u..believes u…God knows even the tiniest secrets of your heart”. So now everytime i encounter gossip like that..i’m just laughing at it..it doesn’t bother me that much anymore.”

- yes, I agree. There are many sides to a story, but in the end only you and God knows the real story.

@Kakang – your quote: “just ignore those false gossip and still keep moving to what you do daily.. But once the gossip become cruel, simply fight for what is true…”

- absolutely!!

Jenipher

This is a topic I’m constantly fighting to others about because I hate it when others do it and when I occasionally indulge in listening to gossip I hate myself for it, I don’t like to know about gossip because eventually I’ll wanna blow up with it to someone so I’m mostly escaping from gossipers to keep myself sane So this is why most times at school I retreated from many social groups I thought were friends and considered me one, to a tiny group of real friends. Sure people thought me as an outsider seeing as I retreated away from them, but this made me enjoy my Senior year and have a life outside of people’s mouths, I no longer became an object to talk of.

I think it’s good to retreat from people who will eventually turn you into a heartless gossiper and stick with others who have other better things to talk about than gossip.

Also, we naturally as humans grasp behavior from what we see on TV, Internet, listen to and read (oh yeah, I’m referring to those magazines that are gossip from cover to cover!) and even books which are all about gossip (i.e. Gossip Girl book series, yup! they got all those stacked up in Borders). So we REALLY have to be very careful with what we read, see and even listen. That’ll lead to either being a gossip advocate or being a gossiper for life.

@Kailin- I totally feel you on what you say, I’ve been hurt a lot by gossip and I even tried gossiping to try and make the other feel how I felt but I learned (the hard way) that it’s best to be the better person and just stop doing it, I taught those people a way better lesson because when they saw that I wasn’t doing the same thing their conscience just went nuts and eventually they apologized.

Simple enough: Let’s be better girls and let’s just not gossip. Or at least try not to! There’s SO many other things worth talking about that don’t involve gossiping!

Awesome subject Kristin! Major kudos!

Binks

I’m gonna go on a wild leap here and say Gossip girl is a no fly zone? haha
Gossip has a lot of connotations to it, some good others bad, depending on the person. I could care less about gossip, frankly. Have I indulged in it? Yes. Sadly so. I think we’ve all gossiped some time or another in various forms. I don’t gossip, but I am usually there as some gossip is being told and through my presence I am participating in it. =/ Speaking up sometimes gets the gossip to stop – around your vicinity anyways- and sometimes people look at you and continue with whatever they “HAD to just TELL everyone!”

I dunno what else to say..but upon hearing the topic something popped into my head. So Imma post/link it. It’s a small sermon made by Father Flynn in the Academy Award-Nominated film “Doubt”, precisely about gossip. I love it and I think it rings pretty true, so give it a view.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sp6rVrGmvMs

Kathy

Yeah Binks! As you young people would say, “Doubt” FTW! I did good, yes? I am so cool, yes?

When he delivers the punchline of that sermon, weren’t you like, “Oh shnap! Sista got SCHOOLED yo!” Cuz that’s what I was like.

Kailin…lol…”possip”…why not, right? One of the fun (and frustrating) things about language is that it’s like a living creature, constantly evolving. So, while I recognize that the word “gossip” has a negative connotation for many people, that is also sad to me because it’s a reflection of the common experience. I mean, how much negativity is spread this way that the word, whose standard definition is not negative, takes on a negative meaning for so many?

When I hear about people treating each other this way, I’m reminded of something I read a long time ago, by Maya Angelou. When describing the experience of a black girl in the South, she wrote that it is like “the rust on the razor that threatens the throat. It is an unnecessary insult.” This is how I feel about malice. Life is hard enough as it is. Why make it harder?

Kristin, yes…I do think there’s a difference. I think intent in general makes a big difference. Although some people use intent as a sort of cop-out to avoid responsibility, but that’s another story.

Also, I agree that the transfer of information is important, but that’s not the defining quality of gossip to me because I think most, if not all, forms of communication involve the transfer of information. What marks gossip different from other forms is that you talk about people in their absence. I don’t even think the unsubstantiated facts part is what makes it different. I think that is the defining quality of rumor.

Oh, and back to Kailin…I see what you mean about recommendations, but I don’t think constructive gossip necessarily involves recommendations. Sometimes, people talk about so-and-so because they are sincerely interested in that person’s well-being and want to help. But rather than go it alone, they’ll hash out ideas with each other because, as the saying goes, two brains are better than one.

Also, sometimes gossip is neither positive (as in praise) nor negative. Sometimes it’s just people spreading news, exchanging information, for the sake of keeping updated with what’s going on with everyone.

Ok, seriously, that’s enough outta me.

Jenipher

@Binks- OMG! “Doubt” is the BEST example for this! Awesome movie!

Binks

yeah! I agree with Kathy’s post. I think the fine line between what Kathy is saying and what others are saying is the malice behind the gossip. Some say “gossip” by passing along info, but when the bad connotation comes into play is when the “gossip” or “news” or whatever you may call it, gets passed a long yet again this time with a tail of conspiracy theories and subjugated opinions of others, often times demoralizing and imaginatively intrusive about the lives of the person in question. Often times having the gossip circulate around the person of topic (which creates a “behind their backs” scenario) until the gossip finally reaches the ears of the subject. The problem to me, isn’t the spreading of the “news” per say, its the people giving superiority complexes and critical opinions behind the news that makes the web of disaster spin and grow. For example:
“Tina is dating Tim” < – Passing of news.
“Tina is dating Tim! I can’t believe it! She’s waaay to pretty for him, I wonder why she’s going out with Tim. Maybe he…” etc. <– This to me is a form of gossip.
Also the type of “news” can be gossip as well. Like the passing of disrespectful rumors, opinions or statements; that while, can be true or not, should not be passed along because it would hurt the reputation or feelings of the person of topic.
That’s just me anyways. *shrugs* I think I’m done posting for today

P.s: Yes, Kathy you did good haha. I dunno about the coolness part though, we still need a lot of work on that =S Liiikee: Instead of saying “schooled”, it is now cooler if you say “OWNED!” or “PWNED!” Muaha

Animator

If we didn’t gossip, the world would be completely different, I believe. There would probably be much more evil in the world, unfortunately. Without people gossiping, how are they going to know what is going on behind closed doors? How would we know about the news and what is going on in the world, good or bad? Gossiping is pretty much essential. I mean, there’s good gossip and bad gossip everywhere you go and no matter what, it seems like it’s inescapable.

I was just in NYC yesterday and there was gossip EVERYWHERE. But that’s how most of NYC is, unfortunately. :/

Hmm, it depends on what being ‘mean’ is. The term is so broad. Is being ‘mean’ harassing someone? Is being ‘mean’ calling someone a name? Is lying ‘mean’? Is being ‘mean’ selfish or criticizing of yourself or someone else? I’m trying to figure out the meaning, hehe.

Now onto objectification. Again, that’s something that will probably never stop. There is always a new generation and they are always born into seeing it on TV and it takes until they’re older to realize this and the process repeats again and again. -__-;;

G

If you gossip, you will get pregnant and die! Yeah, that didn’t work so well for the coach in Mean Girls either

I don’t think my thoughts could possibly add much to this, because Mari is a slave driver and she’s fried my brain You hear that, Mari?!

I do agree that gossip can be positive and negative, but it’s mostly used as the latter which is why it has such a bad connotation. I don’t like gossip personally and a lot of my friends don’t, but there are a few *cough*my cousin*cough* who enjoy a good round of gossip and then when my friends and I have run out of things to talk about, she gets her way.

Family gossip, IMO is worse and comes on from different reasons than just having nothing to talk about. My family is HORRIBLE with gossip, the bad kind and they are the gossip stereotype. If they’re pointing fingers at everyone else, then no one realizes their crap and they get away with it. Joke’s on them though, because at the exact moment they’re gossiping about someone, it’s guaranteed that they’re actually being gossiped about too. Or, like in some cases, my family likes to create rivalries and use gossip to pit us against each other. They’re messed up, I know.

I don’t know if gossip can be stopped. People feed off it more than food. I think that in order to even attempt to stop gossip, the core values of society would have to be changed; people, specifically girls would have to become less mentally vicious and gossip would have to not even be an option if there’s nothing to talk about. Just for starters. That’s drastic, though and I don’t know about anyone else, but I don’t want another arc to be constructed lol.

To answer Kendra’s questions, I think girls can usually always relate when we’re being mean, because for some reason, deep down, that mean girl mentality is manifesting as a result of girls turning it into a gossip eat gossip world.

Marilyne

Speaking of gossips…I was working to days ago when my co-worker was telling me about her group of friends, that she kinda hate referring them as friends because she doesn’t like the way they act, or more precisely, gossip about anything or anyone. Their gossips are nothing but mean and people around them know that fact so there are less than few people who can actually get along with them or try to be a part of the gang. My friend is now sick of this and can’t wait to make new friends at university. She misses being with her boyfriend, on vacation in Greece, far from those “friends”. I think it’s sad, because, those people who are mean to even the ones they consider as friends, make it so confused when it comes to trust someone with secrets.
However, speaking about someone, about what you find inspiring, convincing, awesome, etc. is positive so I don’t think it’s a gossip, it’s sharing the greatness of the Greats!:D

robertrka

You are truly “Girls by Design” Kristin. Gossip. Nice. Bravo, well done. I don`t gossip though. What can say. Well this comment was for the ladies anyway so I`ll leave at that.

genvixen79@yahoo.com

…@ kailin…what a lovely words for u to say…thank u! Ive gone through a lot of storms in my life…and really God is only our ever unchanging friend all the time. And as my way of giving back all His goodness to me..im serving in our church(we have a beautiful church in Burnaby Ca.its called Church of Christ) as locale secretary. Sorry its out of topic ‘lready…

robertrka

I suspect that gossip will always be here. You really can`t change it. Even guys gossip, I`ve had people gossip about me, however right or wrong I just have to keep moving on and hope for a better day.

Oh yeah, what I meant to say you were blogging to the ladies rather than the guys in my last comment. Good day to you Kristin.

Blader3157

I agree with you, Kristin & Kendra, that gossip is a terrible aspect of our lives. One which is present everywhere we turn, on television and the internet, in magazines, and in person. I also agree that it’s easier to gossip behind the facade of the internet, because it’s more difficult to realize whom you’re hurting if you can’t see them. I actually think it’s more harmful to be an observer of gossip, because that person has the opportunity to prevent it but for whatever reason doesn’t. But I can understand how difficult it may be to stand up to others, especially if those people are your friends, but I also think that if we each do our part…we may be able to slowly diminish gossip. Even more so, however, we need to stop being fascinated by it. As much as we say gossip is wrong and hurtful, if so many people weren’t interested in celebrities or even people in their lives…then gossip wouldn’t have the effect that it does. Don’t you think?

@Binks-I’m glad you brought up the movie “Doubt,” because if you hadn’t then I would have. It’s an amazing play, which as you stated deals with doubt, its implications, and its negative effects. One of my favorite parts in the play is when the priest states that gossip is similar to going up onto a roof and cutting a feather filled pillow. That the effects of gossip are like the many feathers blowing away in the breeze. And that their difficult retrieval signifies the harmful effects of gossiping about others.

I think we should all try to actively prevent gossip in our lives. Whether that be from buying tabloid magazines, or reading such articles online. But more importantly we should stop gossiping about the people who matter most to us, the people in our individual lives, and if the situation presents itself stop others from gossiping too.

November Rain

This subject is dangerous. Gossip destroys lives, it can cause a violence outburst and a kind of tumult between 2 or more people. One untrue info about a certain someone said and circulated between people is all what it takes to change how they view that someone.
In my religon (Islam), it’s forbidden to gossip about anyone or talk behind anyone’s back in a negative or bad way or telling people things that are wrong about someone else. Gossiping is done by people just to fill the blank they feel when the good words or sentences or subjects no longer there in their minds during a conversation, and it could be used for vengeance against other humans because they simply don’t like ‘em. Gossiping happens also for the lack of ‘’something” in us that’s found in other people, so these people are the ones that r targeted by bad, let’s say if u want, “publicity”…. ”Ohhh look at that person how he/she is succeeding and i’m not, ok, did u know that he/she doesn’t have a bf/gf??” This is a simple example that comes out of jealousy over others.
Now, to overcome it needs practice, time and will. Everytime u r about to gossip, remind urself that u may be a reason for destroying people’s lives and think how would u feel if someone talked about u in a bad way or circulated wrong info (A stabb in the back,right).
And yes many people feel, when they’re chatting or blogging or doing anything on the net, secured and start gossiping about someone else easily, especially when talking about someone famous, they say: “ohh he/she doesn’t see us, WTH, i might post the negative comments or untrue stories happening in their lives on that certain website, they’re not gonna like sue me or something”.
People who enormously gossip are degrading themselves without noticing. Everyone should feel satisfied in what he/she has and let others enjoy with what they have, and if they want more satisfaction in their lives, do it without gossiping.

November Rain

Oooh and yes…
Peace to all
Ayman M.

Kailin

@November Rain – thank you sincerely for sharing with us.

Gossip is also a behavior that must be refrained from in Christianity and Buddhism. I know people say, but I know people who are religious who gossip. Exactly – it’s a human behavior that has had a negative connotation since the beginning of time so it is warned against in all religions.

So what does that say about societies who thrive on gossip, gossip, gossip? If we know it can hurt people, etc. why do we encourage it? Does refraining from gossip, etc. mean we are suddenly more religious?

Wow – what a provocative topic.

OK, now I’m really leaving this alone…for now

November Rain

@ kailin: thx
I guess any person who figures out that someone is talking negatively or in a wrong way behind his/her back won’t like it… It’s something unacceptable and i guess maybe there’s no one (whether he/she’s religous or not) on this earth who hasn’t said at least one gossip in his/her life, let’s face it no one’s perfect, but that doesn’t mean that we can’t improve ourselves and our relationship with our surroundings to the better… Gossip can devastate dignities and prides which can lead to a turmoil between lots of people, that’s why my religion considers it a great and a powerful sin… There r people who gossip at breakfast, at lunch and at dinner, imagine how many people they’ve hurt.
As for ur last question Kailin, it’s a yes and no.. For me, the more i refrain from gossiping puts in me in the right path of being more religous, more moral and realizing more the importance of respecting human lives and their privacies. At the same time, there r people who aren’t concerned with religions know that gossiping is immoral, unjust and inhumane.

Peace to all
Ayman M.

dom

gossip, it does not really seem good …
it is also bad for the gossiper(maybe more)than the victim (et nous sommes tous , tour a tour coupable et victime)
and looking around me I see in recent days that this is truly a common human activity
snif…

samiG12

Translated from Spanish:
terrific subject.

Hello, good afternoon, this is a great subject, now that so many people are victims of criticism and gossip, in the end when a person gossips or better said talks badly about another person its because they are jealous of what you have.
The only thing that needs to change about gossip is seeking the Lord and accepting Him in your hearts; In the end gossip is at the same time part of the bad life and that in many occasions help us grow not only Spiritually but also Emotionally and at the same time we mature in various aspects.
I hope you guys can read this and that you enjoy this comment.
Well, I shall withdraw take care Kristin, God bless you. Peace, kiss.
ATT: Samuel H Mera S

Here is the original post:

tremendo tema.

Hola, buenas tardes, este es un gran tema, ya que muchas personas son victimas de la critica y el chisme, en fin cuando una persona chismea o mejor dicho habla mal de la otra persona es porque les tiene envidia de lo que ustedes tienen.

Lo unico que hace cambiar a la persona de el chisme es buscando de Dios y aceptandolo en sus corazones; En fin los chisme son a la vez la parte de la mala vida y eso en muchas ocasiones nos ayudan a crecer no solo Espiritualmente sino Emocionalmente y a la vez maduramos en muchos aspectos.

Espero que puedan leerlo y que les agrade este comentario.
Bueno me retiro cuidate mucho Kristin Dios te bendiga. God bless you. paz kiss.

ATT: Samuel H Mera S

Nikolay

At me question Kristin comes here?

tkae23

I understand gossip very clearly.It is what you said Kristin a way to put others down and make ourselves feel better cause the other person looks like a fool.But it is meaningless cause it doesn’t do anything but start problems.My father’s side does this frequently.They all seem to gossip about the other when they are not doing well.They think by spreading false rumors,that their issues will be forgotten.But something like that won’t go away on a whim because you choose to subject others with cruel lies.I really hate that,I have learned at an considerably early age to not involve myself in that.

I can’t say that I’ve ever gossiped about someone in school,most likely since I’m not too close with anyone there nor do I care to hurt strangers feelings.I’m not sure if I’ve ever been gossiped about by others with whom I attend school with.And if I have I am extremely glad it wasn’t brought to my attention.

I think gossip is a terrible thing to immerse one’s time in.I have no idea how good can come from it.If your not spreading malicious rumors your spreading huge misunderstandings.And that’s just like an episode of Three’s Company,it always worked out there but hey that was a tv show.

A world where we didn’t thrive on others misery to see where not that bad off is a wonderful conception.I just hope it’s not too ideal for us to conceive.Kristin I’ve heard you mention the issue of badtalking to others online in an interview before.I’m glad it is something you feel strongly about.It’s terrible when people receive that kind of treatment just because others don’t agree with you.That’s what usually happens with me.I would hope we could all be civil to others whether we could see them or not.I guess it will just take time to transform the world into everything we want it to be.

This site is a huge step in doing just that.

Kristin you brought up a lovely topic that occurs in all of our lives.I think girls and guys everywhere go through this,and it’s not okay and it really sucks.You are right we can stop gossiping in our own lives and STOP supporting magazines and websites that do that,spread the good word and hopefully others will follow suit and say screw all that nonsense nobody needs that in their lives.I could only hope for that much.

A truly important and powerful topic.Our gossip can really hurt that person and the way others choose to perceive them.A bad peice of gossip can ruin a whole lot of things.People’s reputations and relationships.That’s something that should never be put in jeopardy because of senseless talking and boredom.
Amanda N.

robertrka

@tkae23

That`s a great comment and you`re right, it damages people lives indeed. As provocative as this subject is my reasoning with gossip is, I don`t do it, however gossip is being said, not just on the internet, all over society’s as well. Yes I believe something should done in terms of taking a stance against gossip. Thanks.

Kem81

great topic! i think there are 2 kinds of gossips. good and bad. and yes, i’ve been involved in both… sadly.

i think good gossips are simply normal and sometimes even needed and can be seen as a challenge. for example, ‘hey, she’s really looking good. i heard she’s going to the gym at least 3x a week.’ that’s good gossip and at the same time can motivate oneself into going to the gym to get the same results as that other girl.

bad gossips are just horrible. such a pain in the buttootie! it’s not harmless! it can be hurtful physically and emotionally. i mean, if someone can’t get sleep because of a gossip, then this can harm them. and bad gossips can spread like a wild fire and can involve not just an individual but their family. and that’s where the gloves comes off!

what would it take for someone to stop ‘bad’ gossiping? find something to do! get busy w/ur own life! climb a mountain, sing a song, or better yet, travel!

jbradskydumble

i like turtles.

robertrka

I surmise that since the dawn of human kind and evolution, I suspect there has been and always objectification. In terms of objectification and what to do about it relating to our awareness to each other would be left up to human kind itself. Fascinating.. Thanks Kristin.

tkae23

Robertrka

Thanks I’m glad you agree,and your totally right it is something that occurs all over not just the internet.It would be so great if a ton of us decided to leave that behind.

And I love your last comment,so eloquently put.You sound like a smart guy.

Sissy

What do I think about gossip? It’s stupid. Why would anyone let alone myself, spread rumors about someone if there was something that that person had that I really wanted in my life. It seems like making someone who has a better life, or something you truly wanted whether it’s a guy or a pet or some type of clothing feel bad would justify your placement in the latter of life.

Objectification? What is that? hehe…no I’m serious what does that mean? I’m the biggest blond with her moments you’ll ever meet. XD Is that classifying someone in an object type of way. Well it’s just like gossiping, stupid. No one is a thing, we are people, we are women. Beautifully, intelligent creatures. No one deserves to be treated like an object.

I don’t really gossip myself because I’ve been on the other end of gossip and it hurts so I don’t ever wanna put anyone through what I’ve been through, but time is probably a big contribution into stopping from gossiping. Did that make sense? I hope it did.

Love ya chicks,

Ashley

artsychica82

Well, I think how you ended this Blog is the answer to it all- with LOVE. Talking is HEALTHY, if someone hurts us- we should talk about it to get our perspective in check- but as you state so perfectly- it’s when we are trying to destroy another person’s view of someone and lose that feeling of love- that it’s bad… I have found that as I try to find more love for other people- that I don’t want to hear gossip, and as an adult I just hate gossip columns and magazines… I totally agree that is a very SAD reflection of how we are as a society. I am so thankful that you have this site up and you are trying to help women see where true confidence lies. You’re a beautiful, compassionate person.