I’m not sure who thought of the title….but I suspect Mari is behind it O_o Anyways, our beloved little Brazilian troublemaker caught the cold. How? Well, the world may never know… (which also explains why she couldn’t post the Mursday. I know, there is a colletive GBD tear all through-out internet land) but not to worry! G is here to save the day! HOORAY! =D thus the awesomeness of this post could only be posted by non-other than Binks! Muaha! (well, since Mari is lame and has the flu anyways) do not fret, the chicken soup is on the way! and you know…a little something extra *hands Nyquil under the table* {wink wink}

So without further delay I present you G and her Historic Fridays! or…erhm…Gistoric Gridays! *rolls out story time mat and some popcorn*

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*looks around* Hello! *waits for echo* Teehee. Time for a history lesson! Toss those notebooks out the window, because heeeeerrrreeee we gooooo.

This lil’ lesson is on none other than Queen Elizabeth I…The almost fossil dust years!

Before I continue with her though, I must give a wee background story just to fill y’all in. I’m pretty sure y’all know who Elizabeth’s parental units were…Or maybe unit. I guess you can’t be much of a mother sans a head…Yeah so anyways, the Catholic Church was fairly crooked back in the day. As crooked as Forrest Gump’s legs. Priests, Bishops and Cardinals had wives and kids, you could pay for your ’salvation’, you would go to hell for anything the Church said so, etc. I say the Church, because prior to The Reformation, The Bible was written in Latin and well only they could read it (a-holes). Enough with that! sometimes during King Henry VIII’s reign (they say October 31st 1517…So much happens on that day, doesn’t it?), a dude named Martin Luther had enough of such crookedness and started his own branch of Christianity, thus Protestants were born and it was, to say the least, BLOODY. Eventually, Henry had enough of his wife, Katherine of Aragon’s inability to produce a living male heir, even though it was his equipment that couldn’t deliver. Enter the scheming Boleyn family and the lovely Anne. Henry fell madly in love and ended up separating State from Church, switching to Protestant and “divorcing” Katherine leading some people to deem Elizabeth illegitimate and dividing a nation. Oh the humanity. Of course, we all know how that one rolled. Get it? Rolled, like her head!

Several wives and tons of heads later, King Henry VIII died and his sole male heir took the throne for a short while then died. Enter his eldest child Mary to the throne, but after a disastrous attempt at restoring the country to Catholicism, she met her demise via a tumor and had no one to take the throne. Soooo, she reluctantly left it to her very Protestant and resented younger sister Elizabeth.

Our fair Elizabeth was 24/25 when she took control of England and all sorts of problems. When ever you feel like you’re having a total FML moment, just remember the things I’m going to tell you now. England was religiously divided, Elizabeth was seen as illegitimate by a lot, numerous people wanted her dead, including her own cousin, Mary Queen of Scots, parliament was half-full of jerks, more rumors were spread about her than Britney Spears and just because she was a girl, she was expected to take a king in order to “properly rule”. Talk about screwed, but this Tudor spread her wings and flew! Flew, flew, flew!

Hella reluctant to take a king (go Elizabeth!), despite a number of meetings with potential suitors, Elizabeth went after the religious issue first. She won parliament over and  declared England officially Protestant, BUT she did something no other monarch even bloody well though of. She declared that all religious texts, buildings and churches would accept Catholics and that the two religions would coexist. Geez, had someone thought of this in any old country, countless wars could have been avoided. I guess it just took a girl’s brain! Two cheers for girls and don’t anyone bring Catherine De Medici up, her epic fail doesn’t count

Religious problems solved: Check. Threats on life:successfully avoided the entire crapload of ‘em. Husband: Cha right, she didn’t need a husband! She married her country and as she grew up, led England into its Golden Age all by her lonesome…Marriage-wise anyways, she still had advisors and England even held strong against a powerful Catholic fleet of ships and soldiers sent by her ex bro-in-law, the King of Spain. Those last two were in her fossil dust years though

So I ask you ladies this: If you were to inherit a country right now, a country brutally divided by religion and out for your head and throne, a parliament that saw you as unfit and everyone at you to marry some guy, what would you do?

Ciao, ciao, G!

P.S: Next Week’s historic lady is the one and only Marie Antoinette! STAY TUNED!