Jenipher

I’m certainly gonna join this experience! I didn’t exactly went through the same thing, but I did go through things in my life where I found myself judging others including myself. I couldn’t seem to find something likeable in myself, something I could appreciate and mostly that’s because I let other influences determine who I was and am. This is changing, but I’m certainly gonna boost my focus to work on this a little harder. it’s always fun to un-box ourselves.

I never really thought of it as boxing it up, I guess I sorta threw it out in the back of my head, though LOL

Thanks for sharing Kristin.

robertrka

Hmm… whether its a good thing or a bad thing, (in terms of a box), I guess it would be my tendency to over analyze things as I stated in a previous comment.

When I was younger I didn`t have too many boxes that were complicated. However as I`ve grown older I began to take priorities seriously such as education, however has this become a hindrance, in terms the way that I judge and view society myself, and has this become a bad box?

A metamorphosis actually takes place when a person is being educated. We as adults give up that “childlike quality” in terms of thinking and imaginable sponging new ideas as a child would.

As I`m getting older I would like to explore that box even more in terms of imagination and new awareness’s. I would like to see how far I can push the envelope in terms of coming up with new ideas and creativity in my own situation. I want to thank GirlsByDesign, for allowing me express my comment. Good day to you K!

M1ch3l

Hi Kristin,
I have followed that his work, and I am happy to see a person (I am a fan …) do the work of cultural development and behavior (I can handle most beautiful girl on the outside and empty inside ….)

Here in Brazil, where I live, is a bit difficult to help, unless the exchange of experiences.

But think of the following: The greater the challenge, the greater the victory.

Bye,
Michel

JFo

if i were a box, i’d prob be a very loud one. but other than that, im not sure. but i do understand the labeling of certain traits as bad and others good. in fact, i still do that. i am loud. i use to think that was bad but im starting to be ok with it. I’m also really open, which my mother has taught is BAD. but i can’t help it, im naturally open. i love to share my opinions, stories, thoughts and beliefs freely, even though i know others will judge me on it. but i’ve accepted these so-called bad traits and now, love myself more than ever. i dont really see them as being that bad anymore.

kristin, im very glad you are un-boxing yourself. be freeee! be you! love it! and love YOU.

<3 jessicaf

genvixen79@yahoo.com

..g’d däy to all GBDers! …Kristin said she was driven nonetheles to grew up smart. …I guess, one thing a parent would be wishing for their child to become is being SMART. To be Smart in the full sense of life. The world is so cruel that they must assured their child/children would be smart enough to face the cruelty of this world…. When we say “smart people”-there is this connotations that they are wiser compared to average people. They are wiser to weigh the pros and cons of a given situation. They were look up to always do good and always feel good. To determine better the good from evil. And becoz of this high expectations from this so called “smart people” that i guess leads them to boxed up some of their traits coz maybe their afraid to somehow make a mistakes and/or to disappoint those people who used to look up to them. And the reality is..sometimes us peole forgot to note that these smart people are just like us common people. @ kristin- hope that u could be able to un-box soon those traits u have boxed before…and be able to enjoy the fulness of life. Ü …genna

Roma

This is an interesting post. I didn’t understand it the first or second or third or fourth time I read it, so props to you Kristin for stumping me! It doesn’t happen much. I’m still not sure if I completely understand, but I don’t feel bad because I’m young and you have an unfair time advantage. LOL no seriously though, it took me a while to get it because I guess I never really boxed anything metaphorically speaking.

I grew up with people’s expectations for me to be smart, pretty, obedient…whatever they thought a girl should be like. Their expectations didn’t mean much to me, it never really drove me to do anything because I just always had this belief that whether or not I turned out the way they wanted me to be, I would be successful and happy; not because I’m cocky or overly confident, probably because I’m overly optimistic and naive but anyway I’ve always stuck with that belief.

Things to help make that belief a reality I would put in the “good” box while things that wouldn’t help would be in the “bad” box. But most of those two boxes would probably be empty. The way I overanalyze most things would lead me to put things in a third box. A box where nothing is completely good or bad, just things that describe me. I accept all of it, the good the bad, because they’re a part of me regardless. I can experience joy completely and be happy with all of myself.

About boxing others, I don’t consciously do it that much. Judging others, to me, makes me feel wrong. Who am I to judge? What makes me any different? Whatever judgments I make about others are usually errant thoughts that I forget pretty quickly.

Well…this was pretty long. I feel smart! Lol I don’t know if anyone can relate to what i said because as I reread what I wrote, I’m not sure if I understand anymore. I constantly change. Have fun un-boxing !

emhelpsgbd

@Kristin.

What a great post; and you articulated it beautifully.

I too have mulled and pondered over this notion before.

Growing up I thought I had to be a certain way, ie. the perfect daughter, (who does her homework) and the friend who says ‘Yes’ to every invite, even if she doesn’t actually enjoy ’said’ activity.
I also thought I had to play down my creative, goofy side in favour of being more like what I thought was the common denominator.

It’s only since I met new friends, got a bit older, more mindful and a bit self-reflective that I started to celebrate every little ‘box’ and character quirk within.
I think it’s wonderful that you are too.
High five all the way from Cape Town!

later, Emma-Lu

Blader3157

@Kristin – I definitely know what you mean about placing myself in a box. And I also grew up with this underlying notion that I not only wanted but needed to be intelligent. Along with responsible, trustworthy, hard-working and obedient. And being an intelligent, courageous woman, especially in the field of criminal justice, I also placed my beauty and femininity in a “bad” box.

But what I’ve also come to realize, is that every part of me, makes me who I am. Does that make sense? haha, I mean I can’t single out traits that I might consider “bad” or unwanted. Because if I didn’t have even one of those traits, then I as a complete person might be different. I’ve also been trying for a while now to not only un-box myself, but to remove all boxes as well. I think the way for all of us to truly embrace who we are, we need to forget about categorizing ourselves and others.
Christina

Kailin

Hey K – so proud of your self-awareness!!!

Yes, I’m definitely on the same wavelength as you are right now…

It’s funny, but I was a “smart” one, too in high school, and a bit on the modest side. That all changed in college though when I embraced my female right to be sexy, smart, pretty, and creative. Yet, I was the same person as always…though many shades brighter

Cristina

Hi everyone

My friends and I were talking about this (and the economic crisis too, lol) last friday.
I think that our education depends, to a large extent, on parents/family and next, on what we learned at school. When we grow up, we can observe our life and other lives; “as things stands”. But until we reach that extent, we are little and follow what they teach/show us to do, because they are our most influential point of reference. And we just trust on it.

According to this, we act in some or other way… But we don´t really know if we are acting correctly or not. We just do “what we have to do”. But the thing is that life is not an hermetic, static and/or immutable element. Each one is DIFFERENT . So, if we are not as intelligent as we “must to be”… is not a reason to “disappoint” others and ourselves (what we usually do); maybe because we can´t get that expectations or maybe, because we don´t want that in our life simply.

All does not involve we are a failure, not an exception out of “good group”. I think there is a fundamental mistake in that approach, with the ideals, concepts, etc., and the results are there. “School failure” (words that I hate) is due to the fact that there is generally a wrong way to look at it.

P.S. I try to write as best I could. So, if there is something wrong just… sorry! (I write better into spanish lol).

Marilyne

Labels are so easy to put on things and people and they shorten our perception of ourself or life itself. I can totally relate to what you said and I am also kinda rediscovering aspects of my personality which I used to see as bad actually becoming things that I like or that I am actually proud of.

“Get out of the box, get out of the bubble” weren’t those words Kendra’s ?

Always a treat to hear what you have to say and the way you write it too, thanks for sharing!

xx

tkae23

A box is an interesting way to put it.When you tell yourself their is a certain way to do things,it usually sticks.I like, I believe the rest of the world does has a particular perception of who they should be or at least want to be.

I do relate to the smart thing though.All through elementary and middle school I was considered “the smart girl”,and I loved it.People would always look to me when something wasn’t going right.Once this girl even asked me for advice on the strangest of things.

I remember it was in the bathroom at school,not sure on which grade it was.It was probably around fourth or fifth.She was sort of a troublemaker,always getting in trouble with the teachers and principals.She asked me “How to be good”?I was a bit perplexed at first cause to me I saw it as something so easy and simple to do.But it wasn’t to her.I told her what I knew at the time.You know when you come across something that seems like it’s not right,just don’t get involved you know leave it alone.I told her you know what right and wrong is,try to do the right thing as best as you can.I’m not sure if that was enough,or even the best words to use.I can’t even remember her name,it’s weird.I do remember certain qualities about her though.

I guess that’s how people remember and identify people.By their personality traits or the specific qualities that seem to stick within your head when you think of that person.

A lot of people have described me as the nice girl,or the good girl,and I used to be the smart girl.But ever since I entered highschool two years ago,its like there are so many more smarter kids.But I really love people who see me as that.Their are certain things I have strived to be my whole life,and it’s kinda nice when it actually occurs.

I always look to others to see what qualities I’m missing.Like I wish I could be more outgoing,better at meeting new people.Or spontaneous,something the least bit interesting.

It’s weird how people choose to describe others,how much one’s thoughts of you actually plague you.But it happens.And in life I still strive to be smarter and nicer and more good.I don’t know if that’s a crime.If it’s asking to much of myself or whatever.I mean I wish I could be prettier and cooler.But that’s the superficial stuff,I would just settle to continue being that ok person everyone already always saw me as.

This was a great topic choice Kristin,thanks so much for sharing your views and your box idea.I too wish not to box myself up and only be a certain way.I hope I could grow to be this amazing women with numerous amount of qualities people like in me.

Also Kristin your not just the smart girl,or the pretty girl,or the wonderful actress who played Lana Lang.Your this incredible women who has a lot of passion for life,and a lot of goals and aspirations.And I can’t tell you enough how awesome I think it is that you choose to share it with us.To me your obviously a really kind person who likes interacting with all sorts of people,and being open.And from all the past interviews I’ve watched or read,and thought you to be the shy girl.I think you have opened that box up,and I think that really pretty freaking cool.I wish I could learn to be more open and honest with people.

Awesome post!!!

Amanda N.

robertrka

Good morning Girls By Designed, I`m humbled. Roma, very interesting comment and sometimes when I can`t figure things I most certainly have to come back to the topic, you are not alone. Yes I believe there is a third box, to where you can “balance” between right and wrong.

As human beings often times when we make decisions or snap judgments we don`t really sit down balance what`s in the third box.

Interesting, here in America, this week in politics concerning our President Barrack Obama, he went on the news and actually had to apologize to an officer for the arrest of a prominent African American that’s teaches at Harvard University, “Professor Gates”.

Barrack had stated that the officer had acted “stupidly” in terms what still goes on in this country in terms of “profiling” here in the United States. By him being African American also, he himself stated that he made the wrong conclusion in terms of he didn`t know full history of the officers background and the arrest of case.

So asking myself did Professor Gates look at the third box as he was being arrested. Did he believe that he “above” the officer in terms of his prominence? I myself have made snap judgments in terms of relating to people and I would think by now that since I have studied knowledge and studies in bias curriculum, that sometimes my reasoning could analyzed so much more in the third box.

As I stated before I analyze, and to be quite honest I don`t ever believe that I will ever stop analyzing,(of course). However I am getting better in terms of balancing my analyzing decisions in my own third box. Thanks Girls by Design, and you
to Roma.

Sissy

In my BAD box is a lot of stuff. To me, I also judge like Kristin, those I don’t know, and I apologize in advice to those I did judge. See when you’re growing up with low trust capabilities, it’s really hard to see the good in people when you know they will always stab you in the back. So before anyone or anything could hurt me, I hurt them. It’s typically, cause I think in some point in our lives everyone does it. So I put friends I could of had, fears I wouldn’t look past to the future in the bad box.

My nice box was things pertaining to me. Which is selfish I know. But I’ve been hurt a lot in mental and physical, no not talking a rape anything. But my nice box is protecting me from getting hurt again, from destroying my shell that I’ve worked so hard on building. I just didn’t want it destroyed.

But I wanna show that I am a caring loving friend whose there by another friend side through the downs and ups. I wanna show the world that letting the negative and the bad boxes affect my life is no more, they won’t see a girl only looking out for herself anymore but a girl that has her best friends at heart, a girl who has new friendships *coughs* GBD *coughs* at heart. Love does make the world go round.

robertrka

Sissy my goodness that is a wonderful comment. As a child I went through the exact same thing and I`m still questioning why? What reason was there for it? Where is the logic in defeating a child’s spirit in this manner? You`re absolutely right Sissy love will concur.

Again I would to thank Girls by Design, Kristin Kreuk and Kendra Voth in letting me comment and I`m also aware that this is “Girls By Design” not “Guys By Design” so I will keep my comments to a minimum, thanks.

robertrka

@Sissy

One of things that I do on a regular basis in terms of me getting over a abusive situations that were in my past is that I pray a lot on a daily basis. The Holy Spirit in my opinion has a way of showing us what is “real”, and whats “not real”. Also can be considered as nice box. Peace and Love to you, Thanks.

samiG12

Translated part (roughly): Hello Kristin, I hope your doing okay, read your article, and you know, there is something about life that makes us reflect and that is the experience of our actions, for which in an end we are living a bad life, we’ll bear bad fruit, but if we live it the best way, it will bear us good fruit.

Original post : Hola Kristin, espero que estes bien, lei tu articulo, y sabes, hay algo en la vida que siempre nos hace reflexionar y es la experiencia de nuestras actuaciones, la cual en un final si la vida la llevamos mal, nos dara frutos malos, pero si la vives de la mejor manera, te dara frutos buenos.

Salmos 37

So will your delight be in the Lord, and he will give you your heart’s desires.

Put your life in the hands of the Lord; have faith in him and he will do it.

And he will make your righteousness be seen like the light, and your cause like the shining of the sun.

Take your rest in the Lord, waiting quietly for him; do not be angry because of the man who does well in his evil ways, and gives effect to his bad designs.

Put an end to your wrath and be no longer bitter; do not give way to angry feeling which is a cause of sin

For the evil-doers will be cut off: but those who have faith in the Lord will have the earth for their heritage.

Salmos 57

To the chief music-maker; put to Al-tashheth. Michtam. Of David. When he went in flight from Saul, in the hole of the rock.Have mercy on me, O God, have mercy on me; for the hope of my soul is in you: I will keep myself safely under the shade of your wings, till these troubles are past.

I will send up my cry to the Most High God; to God who does all things for me.

He will send from heaven, and take me from the power of him whose desire is for my destruction. God will send out his mercy and his good faith…

God bless you Kristin
ATT: Samuel Mera

robertrka

Well when you`re not busy, write some more Kristin. Writing is good. Yep!

robertrka

Good evening Girls By Design. Passionate curiosity, well… Actually Kristin`s last paragraph had me thinking about what I did back in the year of 1991. I had actually left South Suburbia Chicago IL to go down state to Metropolis IL to live, and yes there is a Superman Museum, and a statue in the middle of the town, however the reason why I`m sharing this, because I believe there is “truth” to Kristin`s blog!

In the 90`s, I used think that exercise and body building and being strong would open doors for me in terms of the way I presented myself in society. What I was lacking back then was the mental awareness and I was putting my “physical” attributes before my “mental” attributes, so in other words, I didn`t see education as a priority because my level of maturity was not there for it and plus the fact I was always angry all of the time.

The reason why I`m saying this is because we all need to get away at some point of time in our lives too really experience our FULL capabilities as human beings. When I left for those six years taught me some very valuable “key” lessons in terms of how deal with people and my self.

Hmmm… I had mentioned in a earlier comment in the “Delusional” blog that Kristin had wrote that I had a “Sifu” however he didn`t teach me Martial Arts he taught me the value self awareness and “Chi” disciplines. Now Kristin was actually correct when she said that we as human beings can create and shape our lives through mental awareness with a peaceful state of mind. I can remember my Sifu telling me that if “I did not like the way my life was going, change my life”.

In those past six years I have went through spiritual interventions, the learning of more disciplines. I`m able to balance mental and physical attributes through daily exercise disciplines so that they compliment each other. I`ve change my diet and eating habits, and I`m able to deal with people in a more confident yet graceful way in terms seeing things through the other persons vision.

Needless to say me and my Sifu do not see eye to eye these days. He tells me that I have “lost” my child like curiosity and have become to mature, I disagree.

I`m willing to Un-Box this because I may be his greatest student however I look at world as BOTH as being equal, and he does not share my philosophy. I believe in the power of the “Holy Spirit” and love (of course), and I also believe in sharing information with others that are need of help or need help in terms of looking at their life’s FULLY with passionate curiosity and not for just “Monetary Gain”.

One more thing that I would like to Un-Box tonight, hmmm… In terms of my own spiritual intervention, I don`t perceive the Holy Spirit as being MAN or WOMEN. It`s just the Holy Spirit of the way it was presented to me. Now Kristin did say share… Thanks for letting me Un-Box… Peace.