by Jen Pimm

When I was in school, summer symbolized freedom for me. Free time and being free to discover new things about myself. When you’re wondering what to do this summer, I want you to step out of your comfort zone and open your mind to some new experiences. I want you to try something that scares you. Whether that fear is physical, like rock climbing when you’re terrified of heights, or something deeper inside, like public speaking if you’re incredibly shy, just trust me and give it a chance. It will make you feel alive.

I decided to learn how to surf in January on an amazing trip to New Zealand with my boyfriend Karl. Being from Auckland, he’s been surfing all his life. Me being from a land-locked town in Canada, not so much, but I was pumped to learn, though a little intimidated. You see, my fear isn’t of sharks or the ocean. I have struggled with a fear of failure for years. I’ve learned how this fear can paralyze me into inaction, forcing me to miss out on opportunities because I was afraid I wouldn’t meet my own high standards. I’ve been working through my fear, trying new things that I might be awful at, taking (healthy) risks, by assuring myself that what I do is good enough, letting go of my perfectionism and surrounding myself with supportive family and friends. Maybe most importantly, I’ve learned to laugh at myself. It is an ongoing process that has led me to fearlessly do so much.

So after I got a surfboard and some advice, with naive determination I paddled my heart out into that first wave, and let me tell you, it swallowed me whole. It churned me around washing-machine style and then spit me to the surface, sputtering and gasping for air. I was humbled by my miserable attempt. It wasn’t going to be pretty, but I was determined to learn. After Karl’s patient efforts to teach me and my pride standing in the way of fully accepting his help, I booked a lesson.

We met my instructor at Piha Beach. It’s an incredibly rugged west coast beach, with sweeping black sand and rocky cliffs cutting through the rainforest. I was awestruck. And scared. I’d seen the beach on a NZ tv show called “Piha Rescue”and it is intense. People die there; the unpredictable riptides, currents and huge waves demand respect. So yeah, I was a little intimidated. We chatted with my instructor about my swimming ability (good) and surfing ability (not so good), and then he drew a line in the sand for me to practice jumping up. After I had that down, he told me to close my eyes. Umm…what? He told me I have to trust myself. And so I trusted my instincts, and when I jumped up with my eyes closed, amazingly, my feet found their mark. Alright! Time for the water. I headed for the waves breaking on the sandy beach, but my instructor pointed toward the rocks instead. “The waves are breaking perfectly for you over here”, he told me. He must have seen the terror in my eyes, because next he said, “Trust me. I won’t put you in danger.” Apparently, I would hit the sand in front of the rocks before I would ever crash into them. Awesome. That was comforting. I decided in that moment that I would relinquish control and put my faith in my body and it’s abilities, and in this qualified teacher, and just go for it.

With him swimming beside me, I tried paddling into a few waves, caught them momentarily and then went bashing into the sea again each time. My frustration turned to determination, and when he hollered “Paddle hard! This one’s yours!” and I saw the other surfers back off the wave, opening up for me to catch it, I knew I had to go for it, and I will never, ever forget the feeling of that wave under my feet. I trusted that I would know what to do. I jumped up and I felt the wave under my board, the ocean allowing me to cruise along the surface instead of pulling me under just yet. I felt a peacefulness I wasn’t expecting from such a thrilling moment. I was focused on connecting with the ocean, and It was amazing. I wish for everyone to experience moments like that, but you have to be willing to take a chance and step into the unknown.

When I first started surfing, I was intimidated by the other surfers in the water, but Karl told me something that gave me courage. He reminded me that every one of those surfers knows what it feels like to put on a wetsuit and jump on a board for the first time. And I had the guts to get out there and try it instead of just sitting on the beach.

About Jen

Jen Pimm is a freelance graphic designer and writer who feels blessed to have found a way to turn her love for all things creative into a grown-up career. As a writer and editor for Girls By Design, she wants to encourage self-expression and confidence in young women because, once upon a time, she was not so sure of herself. When she’s not working like a fool, she’s probably taking artsy pictures of stuff, watching Jeopardy, or snuggling with her pug Stella. She appreciates a quick wit and is currently planning her next travel adventure.