(Photo by: Let Ideas Compete)

You’ve got questions? Maia’s got answers! Here’s a tough situation that is troubling Susanne:

Hi,

I’m a 14 year old girl who lives in Gothenburg, Sweden. My Mom and my youngest sister is moving to Stockholm for a year or more to go in School there and its about six hours drive there so I will not be able to see her. My mom has fibromyalgia and has been sick as long as I can remember and the School will help her to feel better. My parents is not separating, dad stays in Gothenburg just so that i and my two other older sisters can finish our School. Mom wanted me to move with her but I didn’t wanted to loose my friends so I will stay here but the problem is that I will miss her terribly and that when she is gone, I and my sisters has to take care of the house alone because my dad is working. Me and my Mom is very very close so it sucks. They move in a week. We always have helped in the house because of my Moms disease but now I have to play adult. My sisters is 17 and 18 and they have a lot of School to do so I’ll be the one that has to make the food etc. Have you been in a situation like this and what should I do?

Thanks in advance. Susanne

Dear Susanne,

I can only imagine how emotionally stressful and worrisome this situation must be. The prospect of separating from your family is unfathomable for me; the love, unity, and unique bond that a family has makes it that much more painful when having to separate. In this situation, my first word of advice to you, is please, be your own best friend. You need strength, courage, and hope to be able to grow from this situation. Be in touch with yourself and emotions, if at time things become too unbearable, seek the comfort of your sisters, your father, your friends, nature, reading, music, writing, or exercise. Don’t be afraid to feel sadness, happiness, anger, frustration, hopelessness, optimism, or anything else. Don’t deny yourself your feelings. Try writing in a journal to reflect and help yourself progress to happiness and acceptance.

Another important factor in this situation is to communicate with your family about how you are feeling, they could be having the same feelings of helplessness and sadness as you are – it might be comforting to share with them your concerns and pain. Talking and having someone listen is the first step to healing.

And as for the stress that you seem to express concerning your doubts of being overwhelmed with household chores and responsibilities –  have a conversation with your family and express what is stressing you out. Suggest setting up a schedule to give you some relief of chores on certain days. Maybe every other day of the week you and your sisters could take turns making dinner, share chores. Maybe one week you clean the bathrooms and clear the table, the next week your father or sisters will.

Please remember to be calm and patient when communicating with your family, everyone is probably under a lot of stress and sadness – open your mind and heart to your family so that the environment is calm and positive.

And lastly, never assume you won’t be helped if you ask for it. Life is filled with obstacles, good and bad, learn from each day that goes by and be strong.

Best of luck, sending you love and hope,

Maia

*Note to GBD readers: Although each one of our responses to your questions are magnificent pearls of wisdom, the advice is not professional. We are simply sharing our loving response to help y’all sort out some sticky situations.

Thanks for sharing that hardship with us Susanne. Maybe someone else is an a similar boat as well? Don’t be afraid to ask questions! You might be surprised of the answer.

You need any advice? Hardships you’ve faced or are facing now? Having drama in your life? Have some quirky questions you want answered? Then send whatever is tumbling around your heart and mind to info@girlsbydesign.com or maia@girlsbydesign.com and Maia will help with your troubles. You don’t have to say who you are (but you can if you want to), all submissions will be held private, confidential and will remain anonymous if you wish! Mmmkay? We don’t bite, we promise.