Amy Chua’s Controversal Chinese Parenting
An interesting article addressing the philosophy of Eastern-style parenting, specifically Chinese, has been making its way around the web since its publication in the Wall Street Journal (http://online.wsj.com/article/SB10001424052748704111504576059713528698754.html?mod=WSJ_hp_mostpop_read).
The article compares and contrasts the two parenting styles that appear to distinguish Eastern and Western cultures. As a Chinese mother, writer Amy Chua explores how she held her own daughters to strict standards of academic and musical excellence and the strategies and reasoning she employed to help her daughters achieve success. For instance, she never allowed her daughters to attend a sleepover or have a play date, and instead stressed the importance of practicing their musical instruments to a degree that Western parents might find morally questionable. Chua delves deeper into the differences between Eastern and Western parenting traditions, such as how Eastern parents often believe in learning through practice and punishment while Western parents put less emphasis on academic success and more on a child’s self-esteem and individuality.
Chua relates from personal examples, writing about the things her daughters were never allowed to do.
• attend a sleepover
• have a playdate
• be in a school play
• complain about not being in a school play
• watch TV or play computer games
• choose their own extracurricular activities
• get any grade less than an A
• not be the No. 1 student in every subject except gym and drama
• play any instrument other than the piano or violin
• not play the piano or violin.
Chua also writes about an experience when her daughter was 7 and trying to learn how to play a difficult piece on the piano. Her daughter continuously struggled, trying to give up, but her mother refused to allow this to happen. Her daughter ended up practicing for more than six hours without food, water, or leaving to use the bathroom until she played the piece right.
Finally, however, she concludes that both styles of parenting are different ways in which parents try to do what they believe is best for their children.
What do you think of this article and the parenting methods Chua describes? How does it compare to how you were/are being raised? Arguably, both camps produce successful, well-adjusted young adults, but I believe that regardless of whether you relate more to the Eastern or Western category, parenting style is on a continuum instead of in either of two strictly defined categories.
I feel fortunate that my parents, despite being of an Eastern ethnic background, raised me in a way that falls somewhere between the two ends of the spectrum. In my household, academics always came first, but not at the complete expense of sports, play dates, and the school plays. I like to think that I got the best of both worlds, and I couldn’t be more thankful.
Jenipher
January 19, 2011OMG did you read the feedback on the daughter herself?
Right here: http://www.nypost.com/p/entertainment/why_love_my_strict_chinese_mom_uUvfmLcA5eteY0u2KXt7hM/0
After reading each article and looked below to read a few comments (not all because to be very honest, there are tons! lol)
One thing I gained from this article was another angle on parenting (aside from my mother’s own techniques). To be honest, its very difficult to truly understand Amy Chua without her daugther’s own perspective on this.
It’s easy for critics and other parents in the world to give in their judgment and criticize freely, instead of gaining this entirely distinct outlook on parenting. It’s easy to say ‘How cruel! Blah! Blah! Blah!’ but you have to see the fruits of her labor! Look at her daughters! And they’re happy with their lives! They’re not complaining!
And anyways…who are we to judge when we’ve got our own flaws to work on?
Loved this article! Insightful!
Thanks for sharing!